User blog:Pinkguy the b0ss/Full Metal Golf Balls Script
What's up my Shreks, I'm back on Youtube. I uploaded my latest video, YTP Full Metal Golf Balls. You can probably guess that it's a Full Metal Jacket YTP. It was also the first YTP I wrote a script for, since I had the idea about two months ago and didn't want to forget about it. The video is more or less the same as the script, but it's a bit different (not much). Here's the script, in full, just for shits and giggles. Also, go watch the video. Now. No lol jk you don't have to. Here's the script, from the original text document. the thingy or whatever YTP Full Metal Golf Balls THUMBNAIL Make the thumbnail a scene with Pyle bloody and dead with all the major characters edited on in funny ways with the "Youtube Poop" logo on there in the top left corner. SCENES NEEDED 1. Opening Scene 2. "What side is this Private Pyle?" 3. Obstacle Course 4. The Towel Party 5. Private Pyle's Finest Hour DIALOUGE KEY GSHM = Gunnery Sgt. Hartmann PVJ = Pvt. Joker PVS = Pvt. Snowball PVP = Pvt. Pyle PVC = Pvt. Cowboy P = The whole platoon PUNCUATION KEY BRACKETS = text on screen (IN PARANTHESE) = things that happen {screen tilting and moving, size changes, random effects, etc.} ALL CAPS = ear rape SCENE ONE - THE BARRACKS, OPENING SCENE GSHM = I am Gunnery Sgt. Fartmann your senior dick sucker. From now on you will fucking die only when speaken too, and the fuf and lal words out of your (closeup on his mouth) FILTHY SEWERS (return to normal camera size) with be sus. Do you golf balls understand that? P = SUS GSHM = If you dicksukers sus-vive recruit dick sucking, you will be a faggot, you will be a n*gger fried chicken dick sucker praying for sailor dick. But until that day, you are n*ggers, you are the lowest form of lol, you are not even fried chicken and fucking watermelon. You are nothing but grabastic faggot sailors. I am hard and I suck dicks. There is racial bigotry here. I look down on n*ggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally faggots, and my orders are that you all fucking die. DO YOU FAGGOTS UNDERSTAND THAT? P = Sus yes sus. GSHM = What's your name piece of grabastic ambhibian dick? PVB = Sus private private. GSHM = Bullshit, from now on you're private n*gger faggot, do you lol that name? PVB = {sound from TF2 heavy, ear rape} NO! (The shot is frozen and the camera quickly zooms in on Hartmann's face. A black screen appears suddenly, with the sound of a beating. Afterwards, the screen returns to Pvt. Joker saying the John Wayne remark.) PVJ = Is that you {Shrek sound clip} Donkey? Is this you Wayne John you that John me? GSHM = (slowed down, slowly fading to black) Who said that..... WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT? Who's the twinkle toed cocksucker communist piece of grabastic amphibian fuck ass who just deathed his own sign warrant? Nobody huh? The fairy fucking faggot said it? I will fuck you all until you fucking suck dicks. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking golf balls through a garden hose. Was it you you scroungy little faggot? PVC = Sir yes sir. (Black screen appears for two seconds with CENSORED written on it with the beating sound, ear rape.) PVJ = Sir I said it sir. GSHM = (video of him turning plays in a pattern loop of forward-reverse, with a total of five loops. On the third one, it zooms in on him and my suffering fades on the screen partially.) Well, no shish. What have we got here a fucking faggot, I admire your golf balls. Hell I like you, you can come over to my sister and fuck my house. (He punches Joker in the stomach, and the sound effect of the TF2 soldier saying "Ow my American tea bags!" plays over the clip.) GSHM = You little scum fuck, I've got your dick, I've got your ASS. You will suck dicks, you will fuck a person in the ass, you will unfuck youself by the numbers, I will fuck you. Now get up, get on your ass. (He gets up, but two loops of him getting up played in a forward-reverse pattern occurs.) GSHM = Private smoker, you had best fuck yourself, or I will unscrew your balls and shit down your ass. PVJ = Sir sir sir. GSHM = You got a fuck face? (Donald Duck's war face sound effect from "Full Metal Disney" plays.) That's a fuck face, now let me see your fuck face. PVJ = (sound effect of heavy from TF2 screaming plays, ear rape, slowed down, zooming in with a druglike color effect, and then an atomic explosion, ear rape and sped up plays.) GSHM = You don't scare me, fuck yourself. PVJ = Sir. GSHM = How tall are you private? PVC = Sir- GSHM = I DIDN'T KNOW THEY STACKED SHIT THAT HIGH. PVC = Sir no yes sir. GSHM = Do you suck dicks? PVC = Sir yes sir. (Blonic appears, and says "WOW HOW ORIGINAL," ear rape.) GSHM = I bet you're the kind of faggot that will fuck a person in the dick and not have the balls to give them a fucking golf ball. PVC = Sir yes sir. GSHM = WERE YOU ABOUT TO CALL ME AN ASSHOLE? PVC = Sir yes sir. GSHM = I'll be fucking you. GSHM = What's your name, faggot? PVP = Sir GOLF BALL sir. GSHM = ONLY FAGGOTS AND FAGGOTS ARE CALLED GOLF BALL. GSHM = Do you suck dicks? PVP = Sir yes sir. GSHM = Do you think I'm cute private golf ball? PVP = Sir yes sir. (The footage slows down. The saxophone intro of "Careless Whisper" by George Michael plays.) (After that, Private Pyle's eyes become enlarged and his mouth twists into a swirl.) GSHM = Private faggot I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fucking seconds, to fuck a person in the ass, or I will gouge out your golf balls, and assfuck you. One, two, one, three, two, one, three, two... PVP = Sir I can't help it sir. GSHM = Bullshit, get on your knees fuckbag. (He gets on his knees.) GSHM = Now fuck yourself. (He puts his hands around his neck, but a black square with CENSORED on it blocks this.) GSHM = Godammit, with my hand, numbnuts. (Color bars appear with the text wat on it appears.) GSHM = I said fuck yourself, now lean forward and fuck yourself. (He leans forwards, and the screen goes black. You hear the sound of fapping made by slapping a hand on a leg recorded in audacity.) GSHM = Are you still breathing? PVP = Sir yes, sir. (The fapping gets faster.) (Text appears during this WTF) GSHM = Private golf ball fuck bag asshole, you had best square your dick away and start fucking your ass, or I will definetly fuck you in the ass. PVP = Sir fuck sir. SCENE TWO - WHAT SIDE IS THIS PRIVATE PYLE GSHM = Left shoulder. (The footage of Pyle swapping shoulders with the gun loops back and forth five times. After that, the image of Sgt. Hartmann's face in this appears zoomed in and the text >mfw appears.) GSHM = Private golf ball fuck what are you trying to do to my beloved asshole? PVP = Sir I don't- (The footage of him slapping Pyle loops three times.) GSHM = You are a faggot Private fuckballs, but you expect me to believe that you don't know ass from dick? PVP = Sir I don't know sir. (The footage of him slapping Pyle plays by twice, swapping directions, with ear rape.) GSHM = WHAT SIDE WAS THAT PRIVATE ASSBAG? PVP = Sir I don't sir. GSHM = (the footage zooms in on him, with his voice lower pitched and ear rape-ified.) ARE YOU SURE PRIVATE PYLE? PVP = Sir I don't know sir. (Hartmann slaps him, and it has a GTA "WASTED" effect over it.) (The footage of Pyle walking with his pants down plays, with him holding a dick, sucking on it instead of his thumb. Text appears on a black screen for a second saying you had to see that.) SCENE THREE - THE OBSTACLE COURSE (Private Joker goes over the obstacle.) GSHM = Let me hear your fuck cry. (Private Joker lets out a sped up version of the Godzilla roar.) GSHM = Next two faggots, go. (They run for the obstacles.) GSHM = Get your ass over the golf balls, private faggot ass. Oh that's right, assbag, DON'T MAKE ANY ATTEMPT TO FUCK THE FUCKING OBSTACLE IN THE ASS. I could fuck you, couldn't I? You look like 150 pounds of assfuck, FAGGOT. YOU ARE A WORTHLESS GOLF BALL PIECE OF ASS. PVP = Sir yes sir. (The scene freezes, slowly fading to black.) SCENE FOUR - NIGHTIME (The screen ominously fades in to Joker laying on his bed. He gets up, looks in on Pyle, and the video zooms in on his face. An "OH YEAH" sound effect from SMG4 plays. The screen goes black, as the ear rape sound of his beating plays. The text lucky you're not seeing this bullshit appears. Pyle cries for a bit over the pain, and Joker is seen laying down, a frozen image. Joker's face becomes an image of Shrek giving a sexface appears. Pyle shuts up, and Joker gets up again. Suddenly, the footage switches to Joker doing firewatch, walking over to the bathroom. He looks at the "DRILL INSTRUCTOR" door, but text is overlayed on it so it reads "PORNO DIRECTOR." He looks at the door that says "HEAD," and the screen zooms in on his face for a few seconds in which Cranky Kong going "PFFFFTTT" from the DKC cartoon plays over it. He goes in, and in there he sees Private Pyle with jizz all over him, and it zooms in on his face as he says in a deep voice, "HEY JOKER." The shot of Joker with a stunned look after he says "We'll both be in a world of shit" is seen, but edited to look spoopy. Pyle says in a deep voice, "I AM IN A WORLD OF SHIT." Sgt. Hartmann than wakes up, with the platoon.) GSHM = Get back in your fucks. What is this mickey mouse golf ball shit? (It zooms in on him.) WHY IS PRIVATE PYLE HOLDING THAT DICK? PVJ = Sir, it is Private's duty to inform the senior drill instructor that the private is a faggot. GSHM = No shit. (Pyle looks at him creepily.) GSHM = Now you listen to me private golf ball fucks and you listen good. I want you to fuck me in the ass, and I want it now. (Pyle aims the gun at him.) GSHM = WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION NUBNUTS? DIDN'T MOMMY AND DADDY FUCK YOU IN THE ASS WHEN YOU WERE A GOLF BALL? (He shoots, and the shot of Sgt. Hartmann falling plays forwards, then in reverse, the forwards again. Pyle then sits on the toilet and explodes. Color bars appear with DIFFICULTIES on them. The scene returns, and Pyle aims the gun on himself.) PVJ = Yes. (Pyle shoots himself, and another "WASTED" joke happens, this time ear rape. The screen then goes black.) ENDING SCENE (A shittyflute version of "Amazing Grace" plays, with comic sans text fading after a black-and-white picture of Pyle, that says in kill privaet golf balls, wanted teh world to be mor sexey, 5-evr in our hearts. Soon, the song and text end, with a black screen for a few seconds, and then ear rape of Sgt. Hartmann appears.) GSHM = YOU LITTLE SCUMBAG. (Text appears for one second, saying you had to see this.) Category:Blog posts